14 Signs You’re Gaining The ‘Library Stone’
When Kate Moss said that ‘nothing tastes as good as skinny feels’, she had obviously never experienced a 12 hour, deadline-approaching stint in the library. There, ‘nothing’ tastes as bad as failure feels, and completing your work seems genuinely impossible without eating enough snacks to feed the world.
Yet although they always warn you about the ‘Freshers Stone’ before you go to university, never do they warn you about the ‘Library Stone’. This is that legitimate thing you gain when – contrary to the stereotype that students are rowdy and sexually irresponsible drunkards who think catching chlamydia can reasonably be passed off as ‘banter’ – we actually do our work, and eat a whole load of food in the process.
But how do you know that you are gaining the library stone when so little is said about it?
Well, here are the signs.
1. You find studying impossible unless armed with ‘revision provisions’.
Studying without snacking?
2. You refuse to enter the library unless armed with Cadbury Fingers, Kettle chips, Percy Pigs and a Tesco meal deal.
No food allowed in the reading room?!
3. You consider your snacking to be a precautionary measure in case you get a 9pm energy crash that only copious amounts of sugar will cure.
4. Which is why you swill down all your food with energy drinks.
As though they contain some sort of magical ingredient that will make all your troubles disappear.
5. You occasionally think about buying some healthy snacks.
6. But then you decide that spending £3.50 on a fruit pot from Tesco is more than you can afford.
7. You also remember that salad is boring at the best of times.
Let alone when you’re writing a dissertation that has already destroyed everything else good in your life other than your appetite.
8. So you ditch that idea.
9. And opt for the £1 shareable bag of revels which you do not intend to share.
10. You convince yourself that your body will know it is exam time and be sympathetic towards your binge eating.
11. Because everyone needs brain food.
12. And you just read thirty pages, so you deserve to treat yourself.
13. But, of course, it all adds up, and before you know it you’re collecting your results in a pair of sweat pants.
14. And when the results come in, you reassure yourself that it was all worth it.
Even though, deep down, you know that you probably could have got the same grade had you ordered all those Starbuck’s mochas skinny.
Snacks probably aren’t the key to success, but if they help you get through it, who cares?