23 People You’ll Recognise On a Student Night Out, As Told By Phillip Schofield
Because everyone has a little bit of Phillip Schofield in them.
1. There’s that one friend who won’t be even close to ready when pre-drinks start.
“Where are you??”
2. And another who started drinking hours ago.
3. Someone will try to be classy by bringing Prosecco to pre-drinks.
4. But it will all go down hill the moment they share a pitcher in the club.
5. And swiftly move on to shots.
£1 Jagerbombs? Oh go on then I’ll just have six…
6. This will inevitably lead to someone cracking out their worst moves.
What are you doing?
7. And someone else snogging a stranger.
8. There will be that person who doesn’t actually smoke but will pester you for a fag all night.
Buy. Your. Own.
9. And another who attracts some unwanted attention on the dancefloor.
This is not okay.
10. There will be that person who Snapchats everything.
11. And someone else who pouts in every selfie.
12. After several shots someone will send a risky text.
They’ll regret that tomorrow.
13. And there’ll be someone who will start some kind of drama.
Which will probably involve lots of drunken tears.
14. But when it hits 2am, thinking about food will become more important for them.
Chicken nuggets, chips, pizza, maybe a toastie…
15. There’s always that one person who steals something from the club.
16. And someone will get in an argument with the taxi driver when they say you’re all too drunk.
“I’m barely tipsy!”
17. There will be someone that looked like this at the start of the night.
18. But ended up looking like this.
19. Your housemate will bring someone back and you’ll hear everything through the paper thin walls.
Oh God, no.
20. And while you’re waiting for your pizza to cook, someone will start an intense debate in the kitchen.
21. Someone will undoubtedly need carrying to bed.
22. And someone else’s Snapchat story will make you laugh the next morning.
“I remember nothing after pres”