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Every Type of Housemate You’ll Have at Uni, as Told By Jeremy Corbyn

All of your housemates are Jeremy Corbyn, and Jeremy Corbyn is all of your housemates.

1. The one who thinks shopping at Sainsbury’s is thrifty.

Their mum only shops at Waitrose so to them Sainsbury’s is like Asda – a complete bargain. They’ll probably refer to it as ‘Saino’s’ though and bang on about how surprised they are by the range of houmous.

via Channel 4/The Last Leg

via Channel 4/The Last Leg

2. The peace maker.

“Now lets deal with this like adults…”

Jeremy_Corbyn_Global_Justice_Now

via Wikimedia Commons

3. The one who has a bike.

There’s two kind of bike people at uni: those who have one and ride it to uni everyday, and those who brought a bike to save on bus fare but you’ve only one ever seen them ride it once. No matter what type of bike person you live with you can be sure their bike will clog up the hall and you’ll trip over it constantly.

via BBC News/bbc.co.uk

via BBC News/bbc.co.uk

4. The one who has a collection of unwashed mugs in their bedroom.

“Has anyone seen the mugs, there’s only two in the cupboard?”

5. The secret gossiper.

They’re watching from afar with a sneaky grin on their face, laughing at all the petty shenanigans that are going on which they’ll later share with their co-gossiper over a cup of tea.

via ITV/Good Morning Britain

via ITV/Good Morning Britain

6. The one who you secretly hate.

They think the sun shines out of their arse, and no matter how hard you try you can’t escape them.

giphy (46)

via giphy.com

7. The one who’s always there to give you a hug.

Whether essay deadlines are stressing you out, or you’re just feeling homesick, there’s always that one person who becomes your uni mum and is always there to give you a hug. This person is the light at the end of the tunnel and is everyone’s favourite housemate by far.

8. The shouty one.

“WHO’S TURNED THE HEATING ON?!” “WHO’S LEFT CRUMBS ON THE SOFA?” “WHO’S FIDDLED WITH THE SHOWER NOZZLE??”

via Sky News

via Sky News

9. The ethical warrior who only shops organic and eats ‘clean’.

You had never even heard of quinoa until you met them but now you can name all the different types along with the nutritional benefits. This person probably starts each day with a green juice and wears fairtrade cotton culottes.

via Press Association

via Press Association

10. The one who only ever wears a 90s tracksuit.

Do they own any other clothes? It’s a mystery you’ll never solve.

11. The one who’s growing a beard and tells everyone who visits.

It makes them feel manly, okay? And they need to let you know they’re growing it so you know they’re a real man now.

_87344434_67d6d2b6-5373-451e-bdec-659a3fb63ff2

via BBC

12. The one who wears shorts all year round and doesn’t let you turn the heating above 15 degrees.

It’s the middle of Winter and you’re wrapped up in many a layer of knitwear whilst they prance about in shorts and shout at you for turning the heating up.

13. The one who’s blaring music 24/7.

Everyone has one, fingers crossed you live with someone who actually has good music taste. They’re in charge of the pre-drinks playlist, which they treat like an actual job and will freak out if you try and skip a song.

14. The one who corners you in the kitchen and talks about their really dull hometown.

“I just want to scramble these eggs, Jeremy, I don’t really care about the history of Kettering, or how bad the trains are.”

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Jeremy Corbyn/Facebook

15. The one who has some questionable ways of fixing things around the house.

“Just prop it up with match sticks – it’ll be fine.”

via Sky News/Facebook

via Sky News/Facebook

16. The one who can’t stand the mess but never tidies up or cleans.

They’ve literally never taken the bins out and leave their dishes piled up for weeks but will call a house meeting to berate everyone else about how messy the house is. “Listen here, my mum’s coming tomorrow and someone’s spilt chilli sauce all over the hobs. It’s a right state!”

via BBC One/The Andrew Marr Show

via BBC One/The Andrew Marr Show

17. The one who never leaves the house.

They watch so much ITV daytime the people in the Oak Furniture Land advert feel like their family. You’ll come back from lectures to find them wrapped in a blanket on the sofa, which is exactly where they were when you left earlier.

18. And finally, the snake. 

You think you’re mates but it turns out they’ve been spending their time talking about you behind your back. The snake is not to be trusted but can be hard to spot, especially as some snake-y housemates don’t just have two faces but instead have many.

via Telegraph

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