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17 Things Students Actually Spend Their Loan On

Good student living is nigh on impossible. That’s a certainty. Government loaning is tight and impractical, so much so that it doesn’t even cover the years rent, let alone everything you need to survive.

But, naturally, being students, you still find it in your bank account to pay for things you ‘absolutely need’ from the following list.


1. Takeaway.

Even though you have tonnes of it (because your timetable is seriously lacking contact hours), when you’re a student, time is more precious than money. This is a great chance to procrastinate. Why would you cook when you can sofa perch and exert all the necessary energy on typing in the number to your local Domino’s?

2. Deals.

The biggest shop con of all time; but it still draws in those of you who can see that. BOGOF on Nicholas Cage films? You so need two of those! Nope, you don’t. You don’t even need one.

3. Gym membership.

Even though you have never been in your life… and never will go after this purchase.

4. Underwear.

Because doing washing is effort and socks are so easily lost.

5. Taxis.

To get you to a night out. To get you from a night out. To ‘carry’ your shopping. To ‘carry’ your suitcase. But, most importantly, to avoid the walk of shame.

6. Alcohol.

Cos you haven’t bought enough.

7. Library fines.

The easiest money-making scam you will find yourself falling into at university. No one can read a loaned text book in a week… Why? Because no one reads! Library books aren’t for opening, they’re for tricking your friends into thinking they’ve been opened. But karma soon strikes in the form of an accumulating fine. And my God does it accumulate quickly!

8. Text books.

Because your library is so full of scams, you soon find you actually have to buy a book because your library doesn’t even have it. WHAT IS THIS MADNESS… You still don’t read it though; time is more precious than money remember.

9. Fairy lights.

After books, fairy lights (and other ~essential~ decoratives) are the next objects you have on display. It’s not even Christmas, but it’s the one of the only ways you can spice up your living room because section 5.1 of your housing contract voices ‘NO POSTERS OR PICTURES CAN BE HUNG FROM THE WALL’

10. Housing damage.

But of course you don’t listen to ‘section 5.1’ because that’d be pathetic. And as a result reason 10 eats up your student loan.

11. Toilet roll.

Another excuse to damage your home – TPing your friends room. Not for anything, obviously.

12. Tickets.

It’d be ridiculous to think you don’t have to pay to go into your student union. ‘Your Union; for students, not money’ – right.

13. Fancy dress.

Seeing as you have ALL this money, you may as well spend it on going all out for the next fancy dress party. Now is the time to work out if you’re the person who says ‘I hate fancy dress’ but still brings your absolute A-Game.

14. Beer cups.

So you can host the best drinking game a house party has seen.



15. Beer.

Because beer cups.

16. Coffee.

Because too much alcohol. Too much ‘studying’. Oh and too much not sleeping.

17. Free time.

Cliché ‘full-circle’ time… Isn’t that cute? Going to university isn’t about paying for tuition. It’s about buying more time do nothing at all.

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