20 Things You’ll Only Understand If You’ve Worked In a Student Bar
You have some of the toughest, and some of the absolute best, nights of your life behind that bar.
1. You’re sick of first years who think they can negotiate the prices.
It’s already £2.50 for a double mixer, isn’t that enough?
2. But locals loudly complaining that all students do is spend our loan on alcohol is worse.
3. When pub golf teams arrive and drain your entire stock of one specific flavour of VK things get v stressful.
Seriously, they should email ahead or something.
4. And the awkwardness when sports teams try and hold their initiation ‘ceremony’ in your bar.
Take it outside, we don’t wanna see that.
5. The sense of admiration when you recognise that one student who is out every single day of the week, but with different societies.
Good effort my friend.
6. Having to stand on the door and stop every single person who’s trying to sneak glasses back to their kitchens.
Yes, we’ve seen you.
7. And knowing that every time you serve a Rekorderlig there’s only a 1/10 chance of the glass coming back.
They’re just so pretty, who wouldn’t want to take it home?
8. The struggle when your friends come to see you on your shift and include you in their drinking session, but you can’t just sit with them all evening.
That’s not how ‘work’ works.
9. Having to serve that student you hooked up with in first year and pretending you have no idea where you recognise them from.
Did we do a project together, or something?
10. The tunes are always great, because it’s basically just you and an iPod behind the bar.
11. Except for when there’s a resident DJ, the uni radio station or a student jazz band making a ‘guest appearance’.
Enjoy that ringing in your ears for the next three days.
12. Not getting a tip. Ever.
13. And discovering that literally every night is fancy dress night.
After three months you can genuinely not be surprised by outfits any more.
14. When you tell your friends you’ll meet them after work but by then it’s 2:00 am, you smell of sweat and Sambuca, and you have RSI from opening vodka bottles for 7 hours.
15. Going to lectures on a Monday after working all weekend and wondering why you are paying £9,000 to fall asleep sitting up.
It’s. Not. Worth. It.
16. But getting your pay packet and remembering why you signed up for this.
Then spending it on the same night once your shift is finished.
17. Being recognised on campus by people who can’t quite place you…
18. Then seeing their faces change when they realise you have seen them at their very, very worst.
I was sober and you were very, very drunk.
19. The friends you make with everyone else working at your bar are really special.
You’ve helped each other make it through the longest shifts.
20. Because no matter how messy, loud or stressful it is, the people make it worth the effort.
And you can always feel a little smug that you’re earning money and being a successful human being.