The 10 Commandments of Every Student Night Out
Follow these ten commandments on a night out, and thou shalt never go wrong…
1. Thou shalt not go out without pre-drinks.
After all, this is where the party begins and probably the only part everyone remembers.
2. Thou shalt use the cheapest form of transportation to the club.
Uber every time?! We’re students – we aren’t rich. Let’s just walk halfway and drunkenly jog the rest of the distance.
3. Thou shalt not wear warm clothing unless faced with extreme weather conditions.
Wear a coat? To the club? What?
4. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s style of clothing.
Got a strange feeling your friend will be wearing that cool outfit you both share? It’s likely that they will be, so be the considerate friend and wear that thing you wore last week.
5. Thou shalt honour thy liver with a drink at least every half-hour.
People look at you and think you have a problem. They’re correct. It’s called “WHERE’S MY DRINK?”
6. Thou shalt not make any plans the morning after.
No matter how hard you try, you will never wake up early. So let’s push your entire day to beginning at, say, 2pm?
7. Thou shalt not be ridin’ solo.
So you missed pre-drinks and are hoping to find your group of friends who have all suddenly lost phone connection. Staying home and pretending you “didn’t feel well” is your only option.
8. Thou shalt never text a friend the meeting point and ignore their phone call later on.
Don’t be that person who lets their friends stay outside for half an hour. You know very well who is coming because they just texted you ‘outside!’
9. Thou shalt always take a picture before heading out as a reminder of who thy real friends are.
If you’re horrible with names and faces and made friends with every random you met in the toilets on your night out, don’t worry. Everyone will tag themselves in the photo on Facebook later.
10. Thou shalt consult this list every time thy goes out.
Remind yourself that skipping any of these is a sin to the university clubbing gods. Study these well, and be sure to ask for forgiveness for past mistakes. Have fun!