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15 Things Every Graduate Supermarket Worker Will Understand

Most graduates won’t accidentally fall into their dream job, or even a well-paid one, and it may just be that you find yourself working at a check-out. You’re not alone.

Here are some things that every supermarket worker will understand:

1. “Would you like any help packing?” is not an offer of assistance, but more a question of your packing capabilities.

If there’s nothing wrong with your limbs,  pack your own bag.

2. People that treat you like you’re the shop are severely disliked.

“Excuse me, do you know if you have any sugar-free, fat-free, everything-free strawberry-flavoured yoghurt?”

Please go away.

3. The despair at realising the customer with a £200 shop hasn’t brought their own bags.

Separating those cheap bits of plastic can make your fingers go numb.

4. There’s always a sixteen year-old getting angry for being IDd buying a bottle of vodka.

Dude, if it were up to me, I’d give it to you for free.

5. Old people walking towards the self-checkouts fill you with dread.

“Following the on-screen instructions” is often beyond them.

6. Realising how many people still can’t use a card-machine is painful.

Again, following on-screen instructions is obviously a hard concept to understand.

7. No matter how nice, you still want to hit the customers that politely insinuate you’re wasting your life.

“And what are you hoping to do with your English degree?” This demon-question both questions your degree and current job-choice in one fell blow.


8. Seeing people buying gin as soon as the shop opens on a Monday make you strangely reminiscent of your uni days.

It’s okay to want to trade places.

9. While scanning someone’s shopping your mind contemplates both what you might have for dinner, and also what might happen next in the awesome book you’re reading.

A lot of problem-solving can be done in the time it takes to ‘beep’ through half the supermarket.

10. Your fellow colleagues are either 16 and fresh out of school or the same age as your parents.

They might all be wonderful, yet you still feel like the fish out of water.

11. Comments like, “it’s money isn’t it?” or “at least you have a job,” deprive you of the right to moan.

That’s just unfair. Everyone needs a good moan.

12. You cringe inwardly whenever a customer uses your first name.

Just because you wear a name badge doesn’t mean they get the privilege.

13. The dire training videos.

The answer to essentially every training question will be “remember to be helpful/respectful,” or “use your common sense” and that will apply to every one. Instead though, you’re expected to give answers like, “make sure a customer has all the bananas they need.” It’s like going back to PSHE at school.

14. Customers getting angry over coupons.

The blasted bits of paper don’t always work, and hard as that is to believe, it’s actually not our fault. Blame the bit of paper.

15. Being hungry in a supermarket is the worst thing.

And especially bad for your bank account.

But hey, it’s a job isn’t it?

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