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16 Things That Happen During Your First Winter In a Student House

Winter is coming and with it are a whole heap of issues, emotions and epiphanies you never anticipated.

Pull on your second pair of socks and take note.

1. You realise single glazed windows are still a thing.

Why would you ask in the viewing if the house had double glazing when you were too busy imagining where to put the pool table and the record player? The Letting Agent is probably laughing to themselves against their ornate fireplace as you read this.

2. And that boilers are complex and confusing.

Not that you’d turn it on if you knew how.

3. Your fire place definitely does not work, instead it’s just a giant draughty hole in the wall.

4. You’ll be hit with your first set of bills.

And all your money will disappear.



5. As a result you’ll sacrifice warmth for the sake of saving money.

6. You’ll appreciate a good hot water bottle.

No longer a juvenile impulse, the hot water bottle makes a comeback and you will treat it as an extra, warm and comforting limb. Buy a decent cover for it from the pound shop and get the band back together.

7. And tea will taste even better.

Tea will probably already be high in your estimations, but the off-campus winter will increase your reverence for it significantly. Get one of those Sports Direct mugs to allow both your hands to be warmed by it.

8. You’ll get close to your housemates. Really close.

The student house winter forces people to unite and huddle together for warmth like penguins. Why turn on the heating on when all six of you can just languish on a bed?

9. Your girlfriend won’t want to stay over anymore.

Your stubbornness with the heating will end up with a cheaper gas & electricity bill but a decrease in the amount of time spent with your girlfriend. You can either be P. Diddy or Jack London, you can’t be both until Spring.

10. You will lose your jacket(s).

A combination of alcohol, forgetfulness and thieves will inevitably end up with you not having your jacket anymore. Who would have thought that throwing your big, winter  jacket in the corner of the club booth would’ve been careless? May as well Google what time they open to go back and look the next day.

11. Cooking becomes both a source of warmth as well as nourishment.

Standing by the oven while your food cooks becomes normal. Two birds with one stone-shaped Chicken Kiev.

12. Your downstairs toilet will double as a beer fridge.

The tiled extra bathroom on the bottom floor will become perfect for cooling the warm Carlsbergs from Morrissons.

13. Turning your heating on will become tangled in subterfuge and interventions.

Stealth missions down the stairs and house meetings will occur to control the heating dial. It becomes the center of the universe for a few months and the gravity around it pushes people to do crazy things. Cabin fever.

14. You’ll wear woolly hats indoors.

Would’ve seemed ridiculous while living at home, but you will now wear it for 15 hours a day.

15. Your shower time will double. 

No longer just a source to clean yourself, showers will evolve into waterfalls of elusive warmth. For that 5 minute, well, 2o minute shower you will feel reborn.

16. And because of all this, Freshers Flu will rear its ugly head once more.

It comes back again and this time it will take your important Christmas Reading Week with it.

Be brave, persevere and never look back. Pancake day will be there to reward you when it’s all over.

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