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19 Lies All Final Year Students Have Told Themselves About Their Dissertation

The dreaded dissertation seems like a small blot on the very distant horizon at this time of the academic year. But before you know it you’ll be in denial like the rest of us when you say:

1. “I have all the time in the world.”

What you mean is “I refuse to think about it yet.”



2. “I’m feeling OK about it so far.”

What you mean is “I haven’t started it yet.”

3.”I’ll probably start drafting ideas soon.”

What you mean is “I probably should start drafting ideas soon.”

4. “I’ll go to see my tutor soon.”

What you mean is “When I see them in the corridor I change direction.”



5. “I’ve looked at a few books in the library for ideas.”

What you mean is “I’ve thought about going to the library to see if I can find some inspiration.”

6. “I’m pretty sure no one else has started yet.”

What you mean is “I hope no one else has started yet.”

7. “I think I might have an idea now.”

What you mean is “A half-formed idea briefly occurred to me whilst watching Pointless the other day.”

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8. “I’ve started it so y’know…”

What you mean is “I’ve written the title.”

9. “I discussed my idea with my tutor and now I know what I’m doing.”

What you mean is “We discussed that I should think of a different idea…so that’s what I’m now doing.”

10. “There’s just this one point I’m stuck on.”

What you mean is “I’m stuck on the entire thing.”

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11. “I think I overestimated this idea.”

What you mean is “I know I’m just saying the same thing in different ways”.

12. “Maybe I should leave it for a few days.”

What you mean is “Maybe I should leave university.”

13. “I still have time.”

What you mean is “Why is all the time gone?!”



14. “It’s not like it counts for that much anyway.”

What you mean is “It’s not like it counts as much as my sanity.”

15. “I should have done a different degree.”

What you mean is “Help me.”

16. “I should have not done a degree at all.”

What you mean is “Please help me.”



17. “It’s nearly finished.”

What you mean is “I’ve bulked up the word count with references.”

18. “I’m happy with it.”

What you mean is “I’ve stopped caring.”

19. “I’m going to submit it.”

What you mean is “I’ve given up.”



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