21 Signs You Really Need To Get Your Shit Together Next Year
If these signs seem familiar to you, it’s probably time for you to get your shit together in 2016.
1. It’s been so long since you updated your computer you now have over 100 updates pending.
2. And you’ve not changed your calendar for several months now.
3. Sometimes you take a selfie instead of getting up to look in the mirror.
And regret it.
4. You still always squeeze the toothpaste from the middle even though you know this will happen:
If your toothpaste tube is a mess, I'm gonna assume your life is a mess.
— Kingsley (@kingsleyyy) December 11, 2015
5. You can’t get up in the morning unless you set a ridiculous amount of alarms.
Alarms on my phone get gradually more angry if I don't get up tomorrow morning… pic.twitter.com/dty2ZAlGZE
— Sam H (@Sam97Hall) January 23, 2014
6. And you seem to be permanently suffering from house last weekend.
7. Every now and then you just mark your emails as read rather than actually reading them.
At what point is it appropriate to declare email bankruptcy, mark everything as read, and just start over? pic.twitter.com/kyCpjERa8Z
— Jeff Kosciejew (@kosciejew) November 13, 2015
8. And you keep forgetting to reply to Facebook messages.
9. You watch Netflix more than you do anything else really.
10. There’s a pile of recycling taller than the bin that you’ve been ignoring for a while.
I'm the only one in my quad who empties the recycling bin and at this point I'm just seeing how high the pile gets pic.twitter.com/PuDyW7QRCY
— lvl. 36 (@bath_saltz) March 6, 2015
11. And, ~somehow~, the Domino’s man knows your name now.
When the dominoes man knows your name and address already 👍
— kelso (@SimpsonKelsie) October 14, 2015
12. You have a bag full of 5p bags because you can’t ever remember to take one out with you.
*FOR SALE* Plastic bag bundle, includes: Large and small bags, different brand of bags and all used. £2.45 O.N.O pic.twitter.com/J789qVOb3C
— Jack Collins (@Jack__Collins) October 15, 2015
13. The only meal you really know how to cook is spag bol.
Cooking a mean Spag Bol tonight. Reason being its the only thing I know how to cook. Perfected it though, nobody can fuck with it.
— Bill Carta (@BillCarta) September 21, 2015
14. And you’re still not sure you really understand how to use the microwave properly.
15. You’ve had to replace the screen on your phone several times now but you still don’t have a phone case.
Smashed my phone screen …. Again 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃
— madison thompson (@maddithompsonn) December 6, 2015
16. You always put the pens that don’t work back in the pot rather than just throwing them in the bin.
17. You only wash up when it’s no longer possible to safely pile things up on the side.
Being a domestic goddess this evening and tackling the washing up pile! How have we managed to use all the plates? 😩 pic.twitter.com/8Z5oGeJzkd
— Laura Beasley (@laura_beasley) October 30, 2015
18. And sometimes you set reminders on your phone for things like taking the washing out of the washing machine.
19. You still think the five second rule is a legitimate gauge of whether something is safe to eat or not.
20. You also still don’t know how to control the amount of sauce that comes out of glass sauce bottles.
Killed my sausage sandwich too much brown sauce came out of the bottle ☹…
— Let's get it on. (@TashaIsCrazy) June 16, 2011
21. And, after all these years, you still haven’t learned the trick to finding and keeping the end of the sellotape.
Loosing the end of the sellotape😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊
— Indie-Rose Scarlett❥ (@indieroseharris) December 14, 2015