23 Hopeless Stages of Writing Your First Graduate CV
Writing your first CV after leaving university can be a real struggle. But don’t worry; you’re not alone.
1. After putting it off for a long time, you finally get round to writing your graduate CV.
I have enjoyed chilling now that my degree is over but I think tomorrow is when I update my CV and start to look for a real job. #adulting
— Holz (@katycatHolz) June 8, 2016
2. It starts off well enough. You have a degree now, after all.
It’s basically a treat to write something that isn’t an essay or exam.
3. You spend longer than is probably necessary choosing a font.
I've been working on my CV for an hour… I'm happy with the colours and font
— Aaron Zeta Jones (@_a_p_j) May 22, 2016
4. And scrawl through every CV template you can find only to end up with the first one you saw.
5. “I’ve got this now,” you tell yourself, thinking you’ll have it done in no time.
6. Before immediately hitting your first road block.
You have literally no idea where to start.
Trying to write my cv and this is what I have so far pic.twitter.com/ElyG3DkR1x
— Eva (@Evankia) May 30, 2016
7. Introducing yourself feels really awkward.
Real life example of me applying 2 jobs pic.twitter.com/1Uc4FoKelB
— EmPan (@EmPanek) May 10, 2016
8. And you suddenly regret not developing more interests at uni.
Or just better ones, really.
Me when I was writing up my cv pic.twitter.com/5qU7ZQe1YD
— katie (@katloufran) November 13, 2014
9. You struggle to sound convincing when discussing how your degree has qualified you for an actual adult job with real adult responsibility.
10. And try to think of a way to make it seem like you have more experience than you actually do.
Me on my CV 👶 pic.twitter.com/gkyXyvt5Mw
— Becky Horner (@horner_becky) June 17, 2016
11. Even if you have some small amount of work experience, you feel like none of it is enough.
12. You begin to wonder whether anything you achieved at uni is relevant to the working world.
me trying to write my CV:
achievements- I once went to a club & managed to talk myself in to 2 free bottles of champagne
— •scarlett• (@Scarlett_Allen) June 14, 2016
13. While desperately trying to identify some skills you have that would make your CV stand out from others.
me applying for jobs pic.twitter.com/6nAmbTzCYX
— worm (@yugiohmygod) October 18, 2014
14. It’s not long before you feel an existential crisis coming on.
im trying to write my CV it is an emotionally traumatic experience
— Sophie (@insopherable) March 15, 2016
15. And you start to wonder whether university was such a good idea after all.
16. You consider just making things up.
But you give that up quickly when you realise you’re even worse at making lies sound convincing than the truth.
17. No matter which way around you order it, you can’t decide which way is better.
Experience or education first?
18. Not that it always matters…
this is one of the main things that puts me off applying for jobs pic.twitter.com/8Q6dyRsKmW
— j (@brownsugarbbe) November 18, 2015
19. Even after you’ve tailored it to a specific job, you feel like it’s still the most perfunctory thing in the world.
Something you try to be OK with.
Me applying to jobs: pic.twitter.com/YFc4lf8Mqt
— becca (@notjustbecca) April 21, 2016
20. And you almost start to wish you could just go back to writing essays again.
Me, applying for jobs: You know, I should not have graduated. That was a dumb idea.
— Shelby Griffith (@nsearchofwhimsy) June 25, 2016
21. Because the thought of what potential employers will say when they read it makes you want to delete the whole thing.
22. You try to make yourself feel better by hoping that everyone else will have struggled just as much as you.
“Maybe mine will be the best of a bad lot.”
23. And ultimately vow to just make up for everything in your Cover Letter.
Me applying for jobs right now pic.twitter.com/ijPavIWVWP
— mak (@PittmanMakala) April 14, 2016
Good luck! 😅