16 Struggles Every Essex Girl Will Encounter at University
“Do not try to imitate my accent. It will go wrong.”
1. People automatically assuming you’re stupid based solely on the fact that you’re from Essex.
I think you’ll find we’re at the same university. Who’s laughing now?
2. Or shouting ‘OMG shuuuut upppp’ in your face the second you admit where you’re from.
Yeah, cos we haven’t heard that one before.
So when I'm at uni, and tell people I'm from Essex, they reply 'shut up'
— A M I R A H (@AmirahSohail) September 27, 2012
3. Having to learn to say ‘just outside London’ when asked where you live.
Because if you hear one more joke about white stilettos, you might just put that heel through someone’s eyeball.
4. The shock when you realise there aren’t 2,972,167 nail and beauty shops in your university town of choice.
There’s only one sunbed shop here? How do you people cope?!
5. Being offended by how expensive other places charge for a set of acrylics.
You’ve never appreciated the concept of competitive pricing more than when you’re being charged £10 extra than you’d pay back home.
6. Having to scour the whole city to find a beautician good enough to replace your one back home.
And wherever you go, you kinda feel like you’re cheating on her and can’t quite look her in the eye when you go home for the summer.
7. Feeling extremely unnerved by the fact that hardly anyone wears heels on nights out.
Flats? To a club? You heathens.
8. Then going back home for the weekend and realising you can no longer wear heels on a night out.
I have brought shame and dishonour to us all.
9. Constantly being asked if you know the cast of TOWIE.
I wouldn’t admit it even if I did.
10. And finding it strange that people actually dance on nights out rather than standing still for fear of ruining their blow-dry.
So this is what fun looks like?!
11. Being confused as to why everyone isn’t various shades of St. Moriz orange.
What is happening here?
12. And shocked to discover that not all guys have the same haircut and wear roll necks.
13. Not to mention the fact that that men’s jeans are actually an item of clothing that exists.
There are males wearing jeans actually made for males? Whaaaat?
14. Realising that no matter how long you’ve been at uni for, people will always find your accent hilarious and attempt to imitate it.
Which somehow results in people doing a half Essex, half Cockney accent at you.
15. Becoming inexplicably more Essex with every vodka-cranberry you have on a night out…
The accent-alcohol ratio is one of life’s great mysteries.
16. And wishing people would understand already that just because you have an accent and care about your nails, it doesn’t mean you don’t belong at university.
One thing that isn’t a struggle is the satisfaction of succeeding and proving to everyone that an Essex girl’s ambitions are almost as big as her hair.