19 Times When Going To University Was a Horrible Decision
University is fantastic. Except when it isn’t.
1. That time you were forced to a fire safety talk about why you shouldn’t dry your underwear in the microwave.
2. And that horrific morning when your halls failed the 4am fire drill because that one arsehole (you) was too busy vomiting to make it to the car park in time.
It was a traumatic experience for you. The others didn’t appreciate that.
3. That time you thought consuming a whole bottle of Baileys was an acceptable form of pre-drinking.
4. When your computer crashed and you lost that essay you spent all day writing.
5. When you foolishly calculated how much each lecture was costing you.
And how many you’d missed…
6. That time you drunkenly stumbled into your halls warden on a night out and proceeded to outline exactly how you felt about them and why.
Goodbye social life.
7. The first time your loan ran dry weeks before the next instalment.
Your parents were happy to finally get a call, less so when they found out why.
8. When you panicked under the stress of house hunting and settled (begged) for the world’s worst home.
Mouldy walls, broken windows and a poo in the oven? WE’LL TAKE IT.
9. After realising you do in fact have to write a 10,000+ word dissertation.
10. When you accidentally tasted the delicacy of a mouldy-bread sandwich.
Washed down with a refreshing glass of curdled milk.
11. Every time you ever had to down the dirty pint / shit mix.
At least you could always rely on some sadist making it worse with one of the following: Advocaat, Guiness, wine.
12. After getting your first disappointing grade, despite adamantly insisting it was your best essay yet.
“This is it, guys, this is the one.” … “39%!?”
13. The first time you heard the word “Quadvod”
Only the first time, of course. After that it was your go-to drink, the ideal solution to every crappy night out.
14. When you were forced to find creative ways to stay warm because the boiler was strictly out of bounds.
Overheating laptop saves the day.
15. Every time you convinced yourself you wouldn’t leave the next essay till the last minute, but still did.
The familiar scene of standing lifelessly by the printer at 6am.
16. When you tried out for a sports team after a year of beer and pizza.
lol go home.
17. Whenever anyone asked you “how’s uni?”
18. That time you bumped into someone you knew during an infamous walk of shame.
Awkward smile. And kill me now.
19. And every time you showed up late to a lecture and had 30+ students stare at you awkwardly.
The best and worst of times. Cheers uni.