The 27 Stages You’ll Go Through When Flat Hunting
Flat hunting is the WORST. So. Many. Emotions.
1. You start out optimistic, setting email alerts and downloading all the apps.
2. You check every half hour for something new
3. Before long you’re feeling pretty exhausted
You only started an hour ago.
4. You’ll feel degraded by some of the flats on offer
5. And disgusted at the price of them
“£1,150 pcm for a STUDIO!?”
6. You view something that makes you physically sick
7. And you just want to give up entirely
8. Then the one comes along and you fall in love / die of excitement
9. You imagine how it’ll look with all your things in it
10. And how you’ll arrange the furniture
11. You basically plan out your whole life in this new flat of yours
12. Except it’s not yours, and before you know it someone else has taken it
13. Then comes the rage
14. And the bitterness
“I’m fine. I didn’t want it anyway. It had shit carpet”
15. And the grief
16. Once again you feel you might as well give up because nothing will be as good as that
17. You consider broadening your range which only makes the pain worse
18. You find some moral support from Netflix and wine and manage to pick yourself up again
19. You call for more viewings – an ordeal you wouldn’t wish on anyone
20. You even risk viewing listings with no pictures
21. You go to a “group viewing” – also known as a BLOODBATH
So much hate in one room.
22. Eventually you get in there before any one else and have first pick at a flat you quite like
But there’s a viewing 10 minutes after yours meaning the whole thing is filled with panic.
23. You go for it. It’s not great but you just want it all to end
24. Then you hear how much the deposit is
25. And how much the agency fees are
26. You sign your savings and your life away in a mixture of glee and anguish
27. You think it’s finally over, then start the tenancy and credit checks…
Just keep thinking about the house warming.