32 All Too Familiar Stages of a Uni Night Out
You go on so many nights out at uni, they all start to blur into one.
1. Having to convince people to abandon their uni responsibilities and come out drinking with you.
Which gets more difficult the further you progress through your degree.
When you try to convince your mates to come out for drinks pic.twitter.com/YjvtJhGSHr
— Josh (@JoshuaBradshaw2) January 25, 2015
2. But not before convincing yourself that it’s okay to drink tonight.
“I can afford this” – “I can revise tomorrow” – “Everything will be fine” – “I’ve earned this night out”
3. You buy the cheapest alcohol you can find, because money.
— Donald Kerr (@dkflop67) April 27, 2013
4. Then spend the majority of the night pre-drinking, again because money.
5. Playing drinking games to help everyone get in the mood. Which always feels a bit awkward no matter how long you’ve been doing it for.
6. Someone suggests Ring of Fire.
— Fraser McLeish (@FrazzleMac97) March 12, 2016
7. And then Never Have I Ever.
Which is a prime opportunity to embarrass someone who trusted you.
When you're playing never have I ever and you say one aimed at your friend looking at them like pic.twitter.com/jQE1sziCYS
— mike (@MikeBookerrr) March 16, 2016
8. The ‘Pre-drink DJ’ divides opinion.
The Deep House crowd and the T-Swift Army clash every time.
I'm literally the worst pre drink DJ all I play is sad Sia songs and the iCarly theme tune
— Oaty (@Oatrobinson) March 28, 2016
9. And if anyone suggests moving on before everyone is completely lit then they’ll quickly get shut down.
10. You down at least one suspect-looking drink.
This is “unay”, after all.
Why do I always get the shit mix in ring of fire!!! 🙁 pic.twitter.com/l2YugydKEn
— Nina (@Dancer_Nina) November 3, 2013
11. And you know it’s time to hit the bar when you go to the toilet and realise just how much you’re swaying.
You only realise how drunk you are when you're alone on the toilet like pic.twitter.com/2MOhAsjO4A
— Natarie ✨ (@Tw4talie) June 8, 2014
12. You pour yourself one last drink before heading out.
13. And then inevitably the taxi arrives.
When you've just poured yourself a massive pre-drink and the taxi pulls up outside pic.twitter.com/8VhWa6B6Oc
— Gavin & Stacey React (@GavStaceyReacts) February 29, 2016
14. Someone adopts the role of military drill sergeant and ushers everyone out the door.
15. You go to a cash point and hover over “£50” for a good 5 minutes before coming to your senses.
16. Unless you don’t and actually withdraw £50. Or more. Which is highly probable given the amount you pre-gamed.
I shouldn't have my bank card when drunk. Went to cash machine looked at my balance had £90 so I took £90 out and left myself with nothing
— Aidan Campbell (@AidanCampbell_) March 29, 2016
17. Everyone puts on their best sober face before queueing for the club.
When you're drunk but you're trying to act sober pic.twitter.com/zSjFqZb2Sn
— D O N ∆ L D (@0fficialDonald) February 28, 2015
18. But you really don’t fool anyone.
When you're pissed in the queue and your mates are trying to make you act sober so you can get in… pic.twitter.com/vqLFfP6axI
— TheSPORTbible (@TSBible) March 22, 2016
19. You walk in thinking, “I’m not going to spend that much tonight.”
Then immediately go to the bar and somehow end up buying two drinks for yourself and a round of shots.
20. It takes no more than 15 minutes for everyone to lose one another.
When you lose the squad at the club pic.twitter.com/jAhr8mwOjX
— Meg (@meg_rw) March 30, 2016
21. Half the squad have “gone to the bar” aka they’re wandering around looking for someone to pull.
22. Some people think it’s a good idea to tell Snapchat what’s going down.
Something they regret the morning after.
When u hear ur own voice singin along in ur club snapchat story pic.twitter.com/N56KmGwD7B
— Hollie Robson (@Hollie2203) April 30, 2016
23. The military sergeant who got everyone in the taxi returns, this time they want a group photo.
24. It looks awful.
When a club photographer takes a photo, how you think you look vs how you actually look pic.twitter.com/MwOTshTi3M
— Dec (@DeclanBlaiiir) April 15, 2016
25. You bump into people you vaguely know from your course and share awkward eye contact with people you’ve pulled in the past.
Because at uni you literally can’t escape anyone.
When you're drunk and you see someone you know in the club pic.twitter.com/27Qf5N7f9I
— HarryPotterReactions (@PotterReacts) November 23, 2015
26. Everyone dances terribly for a couple of hours.
27. While belligerently requesting bad music from the DJ.
When the dj doesn't play your request pic.twitter.com/XtRJRRESUY
— Tim Wilson (@TimWilson96) August 17, 2015
28. You drunkenly call and whatsapp anyone who refused to come out.
29. People start to drop off and you realise how much better your life would be right now with food.
When the hunger hits you so hard you feel like you're gonna die. pic.twitter.com/rw9kJgBlRD
— Tyler Newby (@lanternt60) September 10, 2015
30. So you go to that same takeaway you always go to and spend even more money.
Love how we order so many wraps when drunk that the takeaway place know who we are and send us cute messages😂😭 pic.twitter.com/GLipmS7KMb
— Holly (@_hollysheppard) October 2, 2015
31. You stumble home, refuse to drink any water for some reason and go straight to bed.
Hopefully avoiding the spinning room. If not, RIP.
32. You then wake up with “a hangover the size of Russia”, vow never to drink again then repeat the whole process a couple of days later.
"Never drinking again. "
— Father Forehead (@LilTartheBasedQ) May 1, 2016
Next time you go out, why not get a free drink?
With the Drinki app, you get your first drink on the house when you check in at the club. Click below or download it for free here, use the promo code TDT, and spend less on uni nights out.