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40 Things No One Tells You About When Looking For Your First Grad Job After Uni

You knew job hunting was going to be a challenge, but you didn’t know this.

1. You’ll see loads of adverts for recruitment consultant jobs and briefly consider selling out.

And will also regularly ask yourself how there can be so many recruiters for so few jobs.



2. “Money motivated” is a thing job adverts actually have to ask for.

Who doesn’t want money when you’re unemployed and living with your parents?

3. You’ll get really jealous of your friends who have jobs.

4. Meeting up with uni friends who already have jobs becomes an exercise in you listening to them complain about work.

5. It will baffle you how many entry-level jobs require previous experience.

Despite being, you know, “entry” level.



6. And you will regularly watch TV shows like Countdown because it’s educational and will keep your mind sharp. 

Or so you tell yourself.

7. Properly applying for jobs takes way longer than you think.

8. Which means you never sound impressive when your mum asks how many jobs you’ve applied for at the end of every single day.

9. No amount of university study can prepare you for psychometric tests.

via / @swarls_lim

via / @swarls_lim

10. And you will seriously regret suppressing everything you learned on GCSE maths when the arithmetic section comes up.

11. Job hunting is a lot like revising at university.

You know you should have started sooner and will always try to find an excuse not to do it.

12. You write “I am a great team player but can also work well independently” so much that it no longer looks like a real sentence.

13. Your salary expectations will be way off.



14. You go in with an ideal job that you’re looking for and then compromise a bit and then compromise more.

Until eventually you end up applying for things that are nothing to do with what you originally wanted.

15. And you will ask, “why did I even do my degree?” at least once.

16. If the search takes longer than planned you end up having to apply for “inbetween” jobs and risk getting stuck there.

17. You will frequently consider just running away and travelling before remembering you have no money.



18. Facebook will be your enemy.

It’s where people who are spending their summer on the other side of the world, people who walked straight into jobs and people who are having a great time still at university brag about their lives.

19. You become so used to wearing casual around the house that dressing up for interviews feels really weird.

20. You will sign up to every and any email job alert.

21. But then get inundated with irrelevant adverts and instantly regret it.



22. You spend a lot of time wondering for how long no news is good news, and when it just becomes bad news.

23. Every now and then you will “treat” yourself by applying for an outlandish job you’re nowhere near qualified for.

Just in case.

24. Every time your phone goes off you have a mini heart attack thinking it’s a positive reply to an application.

25. And if you ever see a missed call on your phone you’ll conclude that you’ve missed a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

When really it was probably just a telemarketer who’s been sold your phone number from all those job websites you signed up to.



26. Lots of companies will simply not reply to you.


27. You end the job hunt with a lot less stuff than when you started, as selling everything you own to fund your existence becomes the norm.

28. You begin to hate anyone who’s done well for themselves without going to uni.

29. Also because they just don’t understand and will ask “why can’t you JUST get a job?” as if it’s nothing.



30. If you don’t live with your parents, you’ll hear from them a lot more because they’re “just checking in”.

AKA get a job soon or else.

31. You regularly think about all that time you spent at uni doing absolutely nothing and kick yourself for it.

32. You get quite into those rubbish TV shows about people whose lives are worse than yours.

Anything that makes you feel better, right?

33. Most jobs make you apply through an online application form.

Meaning that CV you spent 7 hours on is useless.

34. And the application forms have many stages. Each one comes with its own risk of the website crashing and forgetting everything you wrote.

35. And wish you could go back in time and warn yourself about grad scheme deadlines.

36. You figure out what you’re interested in and what you really want to do as you go along.

37. Skype interviews are a thing and they’re awkward for everyone involved.



38. It’s really easy to forget about days of the week and you will often wonder why people aren’t picking up the phone on a weekend.

39. The thought of actually having to wake up every day for a 9-5 terrifies you.

40. But at the same time, it’s all you’ve ever wanted 🙏🙏🙏

Applying for your first graduate job doesn’t have to be this stressful.

KPMG in the UK, has shortened its graduate recruitment interview process in response to graduate feedback. They will give you an offer or feedback within 2 working days of the recruitment event. Forget convoluted processes and being left in the dark, click below to find out more about KPMG’s graduate scheme and apply



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