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18 Things All Tinder Beginners Need To Hear

So you’ve been stuck in the dating abyss for a while and you’ve heard about a little thing called Tinder. 

You think you know your stuff when it comes to dating, but you soon realise you’ve got a lot to learn mainly involving learning your left and right. Tinder is a whole new ballgame – here’s your beginners guide to this very strange world.


1. Those ‘quirky’ photos you think are hilarious, they’re not.

Don’t do it. Remember no one knows how funny you are in real life, to them you are just another Tinder idiot.

2. You’ll never even touch the surface of the available dating pool

So many people are on Tinder you can waste hours of your life. This is the new Facebook stalking.

3. That person you think is perfect for you might not think the same

You just have to get over it. This is Tinder life.

4. It’s hilarious/awkward if you come across someone you know

And you will, because everyone is on Tinder.

5. It really is just about looks

6. It’s sort of like The Voice, but in reverse

Which would be fun if it weren’t happening to you.

7. You need to let go of your ‘usual type’

There is no one usual here.

8. You need to swipe, a lot

It counts as exercise though, yay!

9. There are a lot of hotties out there…

Or at least they’ve found some attractive pictures of strangers on the internet.

10. You will have to stalk someone’s Instagram if they post it on there

Just don’t accidentally like any photos, you creep.

11. At first you’re very slow to judge, carefully swiping through each picture, taking their ‘shared interests’ into consideration…

11. Then you get bored because it takes too long and you swipe like there’s no tomorrow.

12. Music helps give you a rhythm

Swipe left, swipe right, swipe left, swipe right…

13. You’re gutted if you accidentally sweep ‘no’ to a hottie and wish you could go back in time, because they might have been the one

14. Your heart goes into your throat when you accidentally swipe ‘yes’ to a nottie, and hope they don’t find your attractive

Except that you’re secretly hurt when they don’t.

15. Days later you haven’t had a match. You act cool, but you’re sort of offended, because you’re way more attractive than them!

16. Even when you’re not on Tinder, you find yourself playing the game…

17. When you do finally get a match, you realise you have no idea what to do, what to say and so you end up just ignoring them anyway.

Too awkward.

18. Then you just carry on playing the game of Tinder all over again…

Until the next fad dating app comes along.

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