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14 People You’re Guaranteed To Meet At The Gym

Gym-goers in their natural habitat are pretty scary creatures. Although watching them makes for an enjoyable workout, you have to tread carefully, or you could end up in a month-long staring contest with a mirror-hogging bicep-curler. They can definitely see into your soul.

1. The Squirrel

This selfless individual will find a quiet corner in which to create their own personal, fully-equipped gym. Like a squirrel gathering food for winter, they’ll hoard every dumbbell, in every colour, in every size, despite not using any of them.

2. Messy Mary

In between delivering their washing home to Mum and smearing food all over their kitchen walls, this mucky pup always finds time to explode onto the gym scene – and I mean explode.

3. The Exhibitionist

”Oh no! You can see my G-string through my shorts. What a terrible accident.” – Sure.

4. Mr. Topsy-Turvy

Mate, have you ever had a leg day?

5. The Tinder Tracker

Tinder was invented for people with this level of stalking prowess. They enter the gym, park themselves on a bench, set their distance to 0.1 miles and let their thumbs do the workout.

6. The Chatterbox

Headphones are no match for this overly-friendly fellow. He doesn’t care that you’re on a treadmill and you can barely breathe, he wants to know exactly where you get your laundry done.

7. The Selfie Queen

Exercise doesn’t count if nobody knows you’re doing it, right?

8. Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee

These two are never parted. Rather than actually exercising, they wander aimlessly through the gym, complimenting each others biceps and chatting about how different life is now tracksuits come in slim-fit.

9. The Couple

Having moved date night to the gym, this pair are determined to show everyone how getting hot and sweaty together doesn’t have to be limited to the bedroom – they’re so incredibly wrong.


10. The Trumpet

Each orifice plays to its own tune, so when this guy’s muscles relax between reps you’ll know about it. Caution – don’t stand down-wind.

11. The Bicep Curler 

Top off. Guns out. And off they go… You will not once see them break eye contact with the mirror until their biceps are sufficiently curled.

12. The Stinker

They say you can’t smell yourself, but I’m 100% sure this guy could. From Mars.

13. The Sunday Stroller

They’re usually middle-aged, and always female. This old gal appears to have forgotten that you can walk literally anywhere, at literally any time, looking at much nicer things than the back of a sweaty head. Get off the treadmill and embrace the outdoors, love.

14. The Bookworm

I’m not sure what gave this hard-worker the impression that the treadmill was a library, but it isn’t, and it shouldn’t be used as such. I didn’t even know people could walk that slowly.

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