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22 Things You’ll Only Know If You Grew Up In Oxford

Oxford is known for a lot of things, namely its serene gardens or its world-class university. What most people never discover, however, are the dirty little secrets of the kids that grew up there.

Here are 22 things you’ll only know if you grew up in Oxford:

1. Every good Saturday started at the Folly Bridge.

I’m unsure they knew what an ID was.

2. And continued on Christchurch Meadow.

Treading carefully was mandatory, unless of course you enjoyed impaling yourself on drugs paraphernalia.

3. But University Parks was your second home.

Mostly because you could never find your way out.

4. Drunken punting was practically a right of passage.

Apparently we grew up in the 1800s, who knew? If only our booze was as good.

5. As was hurling yourself off Rainbow Bridge.

Near-death experiences were had by all.

cc Grue

6. And getting told off for it just added to the thrill.

”If anything, kind law-enforcement officer, waist-deep is too deep.”

7. AMT was the safe haven for under-age smokers. 

It was an outdoor ashtray.

8. After which Tiger Lily invariably happened.

It wasn’t a Friday without a new piercing.

9. Which was only awkward on the Park and Ride home.

Funnily enough, commuters don’t welcome newly pierced teenagers in offensively coloured peak caps.

10. Pre-drinking at Hi-Lo was always a pleasure.

”I’ll have a Rum & Pussy please, Andy Anderson” never got old.

11. As was bankrupting yourself at Bubbly Bar.

Shisha – naughty.

12. And if you were queueing for Bridge, you were doing something wrong.

Drinks were also courtesy of your massively inflated teenage ego.

13. Because, well… Trevor. 

”Oh, I’ve missed you [insert generic pet-name here]”. He had no idea.


14. There was (and still is) Old Man Bridge.

The elusive pensioner was but-a-blur on his nightly tours of the Oxford nightclubs – he had fans to please.

To visit Simon’s Fan Page, click here. 


15. And Hassan in his Kebab Van.

Making incredibly average nights out worthwhile since 2008.

16. This place had a new name every week. 

It finally got its shit together on the last try – nice one Warehouse.


17. But The Chequers hadn’t changed since the 1600s.

To this day, I have no idea why we went there quite so often.

18. Which was around the time this place last re-stocked.

Chinese Supermarket/Travel Agent/Death Trap.

19. ”If you live in Oxford, why don’t you go to University there?”

Bite me.

20. ”Is Emma Watson, like, your best friend?”

Obviously not.

21. ”…So you’re posh then.”

What does that even mean?

22. And finally, this:

No words.

We love you, Oxford. 

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