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47 Thoughts You’ll Definitely Have During Your First Lecture

Your first lecture is a daunting experience, and for good reason. If you even manage to find it, you’ll spend the duration wondering how anyone ever learns anything in such a bizarre environment. Luckily though, as time passes, you’ll get used to it. Hell – you might even learn to love them.

Here are 47 thoughts you’re bound to have in your first lecture this year:

1. ”Why is she wearing a lab coat? I don’t belong here.”

2. ”God, I’m so late.”

3. ”Maybe it’s this one? They all look exactly the same.”

4. ”If I peek through the glass, will anyone see me?”

5. ”Oh good, there’s Steve. I’ve made it.”

6. ”Stop waving Steve, you’ll blow my cover!”

7. ”It started ages ago, I can’t possibly go in now.”

8. ”What if everyone stares at me?”

9. ”Should I pull the door quickly, stare at the floor and run to a seat?”

10. ”No, I’ll take at least 5 minutes to open it as quietly as I possibly can.”

11. ”Right, I’m in.”

12. ”Oh don’t go quiet and stare at me, Sir, I know I’m late. Get on with lecturing.”

13. ”This seat is damp. Why is this seat damp?”

14. ”Great, I can’t even put my book down.”

15. ”The girl on my left appears to have come equipped with the entire W H Smiths stationary section.”

16. ”And the boy on my right is on his 4th can of Relentless – the entire row is vibrating.”

17. ”I missed the title page, so I’ll never know what this lecture was about.”

18. ”It’s not like the content is ever relevant.”

19. ”Seriously, how is a full-screen picture of Shakespeare beneficial to my learning?”

20. ”And what inspired you to leave it up for half an hour?”

21. ”You took the useful stuff down before I’d even copied the second word.”

22. ”I know, I’ll look at the Stationary Queen’s notes.”

23. ”Oh God, she’s caught me.”

24. ”Please don’t try and make friends.”

25. ”She’s off – marvellous. Just nod and smile.”

26. ”Okay enough, I’m trying to listen. She can’t honestly be enjoying talking to the side of my head.”

27. ”That boy’s laptop screen is hypnotic.”

28. ”Go on mate, you crush that candy.”

29. ”Why has everything gone silent?”

30. ”Shit, he’s asking questions.”

31. ”Please don’t pick me.”

32. ”For all I know, I’m still in the wrong lecture.”

33. ”If I wanted to leave, how would I go about that?”

34. ”Nope, there’s no escape.”

35. ”Is that clock even moving?”

36. ”And what is with that cough? The girl needs a Doctor.”

37. ”Oh my bad, it’s giggling.”

38. ”What could anyone in here possibly be finding that funny? This is not a funny situation.”

39. ”Yay! Everyone’s packing.”

40. ”Oi, girl at the front. Put your hand back down.”

41. ”Someone’s going to hurt her.”

42. ”That was the longest and most pointless question anyone has ever asked. Ever.”

43. ”Even the lecturer hates you now.”

44. ”Right, time to find my way out of this place.”

45. ”Follow the crowd.”

46. ”They appear to be parting. Should I use the left door, or the right door?”

47. ”Doesn’t matter, I’ll switch it up next time.”

”Next time – as if.”

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